tps-report.org » Bizarre

Introducing, the Free Flexor!!!!!

Gyorak — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 20:42:38 +0000

You thought the Shakeweight was ridiculous, the new Free Flexor has got to be be the gayest workout device in the known universe. Check out the homo erotic infomercial featuring ripped masculine men manipulating this double dildonic/cyber scrotum device that will mezmerize and confound you.

For Tracy Morgan

Gyorak — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 05:11:59 +0000

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Just in case you don’t know…

Milo gets “grounded” for life?

Gyorak — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 03:50:12 +0000

Good news regarding the beleaguered Kinect for the Xbox 360 system. Rumors are starting to leak out about the cancellation of the ill fabled pedophile simulator Milo. Thank goodness for the rest of the world for sparing us the next Microsoft based disaster. After reviewing the TED talk for Milo, it was a creepy game/simulator wherein the user of the kinect gets to command a pre pubescent virtual boy around a 3D landscape.

The supposed plot for Milo? A pre teen boy moves with his family from the UK to New England and hes not happy about it. From smashing snails by a river (WTF?) to looking generally pissed off, he eventually gets into an argument with his parents off screen and runs to his room. The Kinect player then encourages the boy to clean up his room (that sounds FUN!).

What gives? No siblings? I would love to command Milo go into his virtual little brother’s room (lets call him Otis) and beat the living shit out of the younger boy and then at a later date, have Milo construct a go kart only to shove poor little Otis in it (wearing a paper burger king crown as a magic helmet that will protect him from all head injuries) and send him careening down a steep hill in a campaign of virtual terror. Eventually, Otis grows up to brutally slaughter the rest of the family with a meat clever and an ice pick because he “just snapped”. That’s my idea of entertainment…

You never know, Microsoft may get smart and refocus to other target audiences like N.A.M.B.L.A or the Vatican. It may outsell Halo Reach if thats the case. If this rumor is true, it may very well have just saved Peter Molyneux’s career. Let’s bow our heads in silence for the snail smashing digital abuse victim that almost was…

The worst MC battle I’ve seen this year

Gyorak — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 03:23:03 +0000

Courtesy of Youtube, this has got to be one of the most odd and inane MC battles I’ve seen in a while. Looks like this is from some vague cable access/college station. Watch and learn from the Mastas…

Drunk History vol. 6 Nikola Tesla!

Gyorak — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 01:01:17 +0000

This has got to be one of the most disgustingly entertaining summaries of the biography of my favorite scientist of all time Nikola Tesla. Tesla is played by John C. Reilly and the part of Edison is played by Crispin Glover. Its hosted by comedian Duncan Trussell. Mr. Trussell had consumed a six pack of beer and a bottle of absinthe and sat down to narrate about Tesla’s extraordinary life. The interesting thing about this “biography” was that as far as I know, most of this is pretty accurate, even down to the vision Tesla had of the Alternating current engine…

The last line by Mr. Trussell describes Nikola Tesla perfectly… He was the Electric Jesus!

Till the break of dawn…

Gyorak — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 05:05:47 +0000

Just in time for Valentine’s day, one of the greatest Craigslist posts ever unleashed on the ladies of Minneapolis. The two chest hair hearts shaved into his torso is a nice touch. Its the little things that make the difference. When you click on this link and begin reading the post, use a Barry White or sexy Will Ferrel voice to enhance the delivery to a higher level of deliciousness…

DON’T TRY TO FIGHT IT!

Are you gay? Are you a thug? Look no further…

Gyorak — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 16:50:59 +0000

I love the internet. You just never know what you’re going to get when you start digging around…

http://www.gaythugdating.com/

The thing with two heads!

Gyorak — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 22:47:23 +0000

This is pure cinematic gold. This could be one of the greatest films of all time. I haven’t seen the whole movie ever, but I plan to over the holidays. The thing with two heads stars Rosie Grier, a former NFL football player as a black man who has a white man’s head transplanted onto his body. Sort of like a conjoined Odd couple.

I wonder if this is coming out for Blu Ray?

10 Extremely Weird Religions

Gyorak — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 22:10:53 +0000

Great little piece about some of the more off beat religions around the world. Here is the list from 10 to 1.

10. Scientology

9. Creativity Movement

8. Thee Temple ov Psychick Youth

7. Nation of Yahweh

6. Church of All Worlds

5. Universe People

4. Church of the SubGenius

3. Prince Philip Movement

2. The Church of Euthanasia

1. Nuwaubianism

I’m partial to the Church of the Sub Genius myself…

Check the full article out here.

Muscle March debuting on the Wii

Gyorak — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 02:58:07 +0000

Is it time to get a Wii?? A new game is debuting from Japan where you must chase down a thief that steals your workout protein powder. It looks like you have to make certain gestures with the wii controllers in order to fly through obstacles at super speed. Check it out.