Oh the many uses and even more joyful side effects of the wonder chemical/bio weapon known as Aspartame! Lets review the tumultuous history of this chemical concoction…

DECEMBER 1965
While working on an ulcer drug, a chemist at pharmaceutical manufacturer GD Searle accidentally discovers aspartame, a substance that is 180 times sweeter than sugar, yet has no calories.

AUTUMN 1967
GD Searle approaches eminent biochemist Dr Harry Waisman, director of the University of Wisconsin’s Joseph P Kennedy Jr Memorial Laboratory of Mental Retardation Research and a respected expert in the toxicity of phenylalanine (which comprises 50 per cent of the aspartame formula), to conduct a study of the effects of aspartame on primates. Of seven monkeys fed aspartame mixed with milk, one dies and five others have grand mal epileptic seizures.

SPRING 1971
Dr John Olney, professor of neuropathology and psychiatry at Washington University in St Louis School of Medicine, whose research into the neurotoxic food additive monosodium glutamate (MSG, a chemical cousin of aspartame) was responsible for having it removed from baby foods, informs Searle that his studies show that aspartic acid, one of the main constituents of aspartame, causes holes in the brains of infant mice. One of Searle’s researchers, Ann Reynolds, confirms Olney’s findings in a similar study.

8 MARCH 1977
Searle hires prominent Washington insider Donald Rumsfeld as its new CEO to try to turn the beleaguered company around. A former member of Congress and defence secretary in the Ford administration, Rumsfeld brings several of his Washington colleagues in as top management.

JANUARY 1981
Rumsfeld states in a Searle sales meeting that he is going to make a big push to get aspartame approved within the year. Rumsfeld vows to ‘call in his markers’ and use political rather than scientific means to get the FDA on side.

21 JANUARY 1981
One day after Reagan’s inauguration, Searle re-applies to the FDA for approval to use aspartame as a food sweetener.

AUTUMN 1983
The first carbonated beverages containing aspartame go on sale in the US.

1 OCTOBER 1985
Monsanto, the producer of recombinant bovine growth hormone, genetically engineered soya beans, the pesticide Roundup and many other industrial and agricultural chemicals, purchases Searle for $2.7 billion.

1989
The FDA has received more than 4,000 complaints from consumers about adverse reactions to the sweetener.

19 APRIL 1993
The FDA approves aspartame for use in hard and soft candies, non-alcoholic flavoured beverages, tea beverages, fruit juices and concentrates, baked goods and baking mixes, and frostings, toppings and fillings for baked goods.

You can read the whole excellent article here. So as you can see, good ole Rummy, in addition to being one of the worst secretary’s of Defense ever to hold the office, was also instrumental in getting Aspartame approved! Hey, there may be more to this Illuminati thing after all.

mmm mmm good!

Just when I thought cookbooks couldn’t get any weirder, in the latest line of offerings from the culinary world, there is a new tome of knowledge using semen (yes, semen) as the main ingredient. The cooking with cum cookbook!

From the company website:

Attention all semen enthusiasts!

We are very proud to announce the arrival of our new book.

Natural Harvest – A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes explores the culinary value of semen through beautiful photographs and delectable recipes.

It’s the perfect holiday gift for that special cook in your life.

For $24.95 you can unlock the explosive secrets of cooking with man gravy. Unfortunately, they do not divulge any of the recipes, My guess is that there will be nifty recipes names such as “Cream of manroom soup” and “Beef Strokeitoff”…

Can you tell which is the old burger?

Here is the full article.

We can now cease all efforts in advancing any further technologically as a species. With the introduction of Bacon Salt, all of man’s remaining needs have been provided in life. Some of the testimonial quotes are absolutely hilarious:

“Thank you for organizing the party in my mouth.” – Mark

“Bacon Salt bitch-slaps the flavor of bacon into anything and everything it touches.” – PC Gamer

“When you put Bacon Salt on mashed potatoes, they try to eat themselves.” – Aaron Tucker

I have yet to order any. I will definitely get my hands on some in the near future.

Life on “Old MacDonald’s Farm” isn’t what it used to be. The green pastures and idyllic barnyard scenes portrayed in children’s books have been replaced by windowless sheds, tiny crates, wire cages, and other confinement systems integral to what is now known as “factory farming.”

Today the majority of farmed animals are:

confined to the point that they can barely move,
denied veterinary care,
mutilated without painkillers,
and finally slaughtered — often while fully conscious.