A 70 decibel smack to the side of an unsuspecting tiny child’s head. I guess the guy didn’t finish the level…

Good news regarding the beleaguered Kinect for the Xbox 360 system. Rumors are starting to leak out about the cancellation of the ill fabled pedophile simulator Milo. Thank goodness for the rest of the world for sparing us the next Microsoft based disaster. After reviewing the TED talk for Milo, it was a creepy game/simulator wherein the user of the kinect gets to command a pre pubescent virtual boy around a 3D landscape.

The supposed plot for Milo? A pre teen boy moves with his family from the UK to New England and hes not happy about it. From smashing snails by a river (WTF?) to looking generally pissed off, he eventually gets into an argument with his parents off screen and runs to his room. The Kinect player then encourages the boy to clean up his room (that sounds FUN!).

What gives? No siblings? I would love to command Milo go into his virtual little brother’s room (lets call him Otis) and beat the living shit out of the younger boy and then at a later date, have Milo construct a go kart only to shove poor little Otis in it (wearing a paper burger king crown as a magic helmet that will protect him from all head injuries) and send him careening down a steep hill in a campaign of virtual terror. Eventually, Otis grows up to brutally slaughter the rest of the family with a meat clever and an ice pick because he “just snapped”. That’s my idea of entertainment…

You never know, Microsoft may get smart and refocus to other target audiences like N.A.M.B.L.A or the Vatican.  It may outsell Halo Reach if thats the case. If this rumor is true, it may very well have just saved Peter Molyneux’s career. Let’s bow our heads in silence for the snail smashing digital abuse victim that almost was…

This hilarious review by a youtube user named Armake21. His humorous reference to fighting midgets in purple suits and then the “wall of dildos”. Besides some dithered artwork of Ahnold, this Nintendo game obviously has almost nothing to do with the events in the movie.

Whoever designed this travesty of a title should be forced to face a “wall of dildos” themselves in order to be allowed to continue living.

I was surfing around the other day and ran into one of the most incredible science fiction games currently being developed called Infinity. Talking with friends and co workers throughout the years regarding space based games, the holy grail of the space explorer type game was the ability to seamlessly flow through the deep space environment giving the player the ability to land on strange and exotic planets to allow further conquest/ exploration. Well sci fi geeks, your wait is over. Now you too can drop in from a planetary orbit and step into a foreboding landscape only to ultimately get your face sucked and used as an alien incubator.

Infinity uses procedurally based algorithms  to generate galaxies which contain millions of randomly generated planets. The game looks absolutely amazing and if it is successful, looks like a watershed point in PC gaming. This is especially exciting for me since I used to stay up into the wee hours playing Elite on my Amiga 500 and thought it would never get any better.

It also looks like they are letting the community build the game assets themselves. So if you’ve got some talent and you feel like you can contribute, give these guys a holler and start submitting!

Can anybody say “Firefly Mod?!

I am posting some MUST watch videos below that showcase some of the procedural technologies. Absolutely amazing!

From Arstechnica:

In the latest series of unfortunate events for the Microsoft corporation, the Xbox live network is suffering from malicious attacks from hackers that allow them to flood fellow opponents connections with a Denial of service attack that kicks the victim off of the Live network.

To exacerbate the situation, the hackers that discovered this exploit are selling their services to fellow X-bots for $20 dollars an attack. From the article:

Since Xbox Live games connect to the Internet like everything else, using an IP address, it’s possible for hackers to discover your address using underground packet-sniffing software, then flood the Xbox port with incoming data to boot you off. Other offenders are reportedly asking for an IP address by sneaky means before opening the denial-of-service floodgates.

Wow, am I glad I don’t have to pay $8 bucks a month for my PS3 online playing time…

If your bored and would like to kill some time, head over to fantasticcontraption.com and try out this physics based flash game. I played with this for a few hours and was immediately addicted.

What could be better than supporting the Lord AND Rock and roll?

Enter GUITAR PRAISE! Rock with the Lord! Digital Praise is now offering pre orders of the new blockbuster PC only game based on the popular Guitar Hero and Rock Band franchises. Rock out with such Christian hits like Love Addict from Family Force 5, The Flame in All of Us by Thousand Foot Krutch and many many others. No Stryper though for the old school holy rock fans (let us pray for 90s edition).

From the website:

Grab the guitar and play along with top Christian bands! Shred those riffs or blast the bass…you add a unique sound to the solid Christian rock. But watch out: if you can’t keep up, the artists will take a break and stop the music. Crank it up and try again-you’ll soon be rockin’ with the best while praising the Lord!

If the guitar thing isn’t your bag, you can always order the company’s best selling Dance Praise or better yet, Dance Praise 2-The remix!

Hear ye, hear ye! The long awaited Fallout 3 will be released for the PC, PS3 and Xbox 360 in the United States this October 28th. Thats right, mark your calendars folks.

Press release here!

Before you click on this link, you must have 2 conditions fulfilled:

1) Turn your sound ON to a decent level.

2) You must LOVE EGGS!!! (and have flash installed in your browser…)